REVELATION

I am less depressed than what I have been these last few months. Although, I think I have just become numb to emotion. Something a good friend of mine has mastered. I guess I saw his way of living ingenious, and I was already half way there to start off with. The girls in my year have told me that I am ‘weird’ as I have dived into this pool of dissociation. I laugh at all the things I should cry about. I find myself getting into fights with them all because I am no longer afraid to say what I want. I get into these fights, and I don’t care. I sit back and laugh. They really are just pathetic. The voices came back during the holidays, and scared me at first, but now I just talk back. They aren’t winning like they used to.
Although I guess this is all good, I miss my depression, my best friend. I always thought when I got to this stage I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, but it turns out I’m into the same sort of stuff, they have just varied a bit. I still love music, but it’s changed from listening to depressing Radiohead on repeat for hours on end. I still love art, but it’s changed from obsessing over Damien Hirst’s obsession with death. Although my Sylvia Plath obsession still remains, lol.